I've always been a sensitive individual. I like a good cry. It helps to relieve stress.
Problem is, I got the piss taken out of me for years because of it and as such I suppressed it. Told myself I needed to be more 'Manly', whatever that means!
Societal expectations are a bitch. Some of the people who took the piss are people I consider close friends. It's just that they had had it drummed into them that crying was a sign of weakness and as such took it out on me when I got upset.
Don't get me wrong, there was a time when I got teary at the slightest of things and some of the teasing was perhaps justified. Perhaps. Regardless it happened.
I am so glad that men are starting to realise that it is OK to be vulnerable. To be upset. It doesn't make you less of a man. It simply makes you more of a well rounded human being. Over the last few years I have been able to open up more to friends and vice versa and it has brought us closer together. I may not see my friends as much as I would like and I don't tell them often enough but I love them. You know who you are.
This brings me on to my next point...
Anger is a good thing! For so long I have associated anger with negativity and of course it can be, but it can also be a huge positive as it can make you feel empowered and affect change.
It has taken me a long time to realise this.
I have suppressed anger and sadness for so long, is it any wonder I've been depressed? Supressing your feelings isn't healthy.
Of course anger and sadness are at two ends of the spectrum but if you try to avoid the extremes you will inevitably avoid much of the rest as well and end up numb.
The point I'm looking to make is that I have spent far to long supressing my emotions and I find myself starting to let them in, even the bad ones. This does mean that certain things hurt more than they have in the past but it also means that I can take some pleasure from life and even find contentment once in a while.
This is all relatively new and something I will need to keep working on but I am happy that I am making progress!
Today is the last day of mental health awareness week. During this time I have made some videos on TikTok around this (although not as many as I would like) and also had my song, Eventually, featured by Ideas Hub Chelmsford as part of the Time to Change Essex Campaign.
Take care of yourself.
Dan X